


And All My Secrets Laid Bare

by stormwreath



Series: The Will To Power [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Comic)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Femslash, S8 Comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-10
Updated: 2008-02-09
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormwreath/pseuds/stormwreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow has traveled to Saga Vasuki's home dimension in order to learn the secrets of magic from the serpent goddess. She thinks she's ready to pay the price.<br/>She really isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough_ \- George Washington Carver

 

Willow kneels on the grass, her head bowed. She is naked, as the ritual demands; and the constant gentle rain feels oddly warm on her bare skin. She completes speaking her request, and waits in nervous anticipation.

"Look at me."

She raises her eyes, and gasps in terror and delight as Nehushtan takes form before her. The goddess has a woman's face, eerily beautiful despite its green hue, its blackened lips that barely hide sharp white teeth and flickering tongue. Her eyes glow white, with no pupil or iris. Her hair, long and fine, is pure silver; it stretches away from her head, ruffled by a breeze that touches nothing else, that Willow herself cannot feel.

"Am I beautiful, mortal? Do you desire me?"

_Yes_ says the voice inside Willow's head, but she says nothing, casting her eyes down Nehushtan's womanly torso - _yesyesyesyes_ \- seeing where it becomes scaly and monstrous, the tail of a vast serpent, coiling and twisting about itself. She swallows, looks back into Nehushtan's inhuman eyes.

"Y-you're a goddess. Whatever form you choose would look good to me, if... if you wanted it to."

Silvery laughter greets her remark. "A wise answer, child. But what of this form, then? Does it please you? Does it fill you with the warmth of mortal passion? Would you share that with me?"

Gulp. Willow has read the books, knows what to expect, but this is sudden urgent reality and she fights the urge to panic. What is the correct reply? If she gets this wrong now, she'll never return home... although - a rebellious thought intrudes - it would probably be a really _fun_ way to die. No. Not fun. Not fun at all. Think, Rosenberg. Get it right. She masters herself, and her voice comes back low and determined.

"I would share with you, and you with me. A mingling, an exchange, and then we go our separate ways wiser for the experience. I would do this with you, my lady Nehushtan."

A sudden hiss, that makes Willow start back in fear, and Nehushtan's eyes suddenly flame yellow. But then the colour bleaches out of them once more, and a cruel smile curves around the goddess's lips.

"Well then. You would learn my secrets? You will pay the price? Well then. Open yourself to me, child."

"OK, um... what do you want to know?" But Nehushtan's body is coiling itself lasciviously, rubbing its folds one against the other, and in shock Willow understands. "Oh. Whoa. That's just... yuk. You mean literally? With the... uh.. opening.. Umm..."

"Of course I do. You have come for my secrets, have you not? I share them only with my lovers."

Willow feels the blush spreading down from her face; she stammers, flustered more than ever. "B-but - uh, th-that's not how mortals d-do it, we don't just, um, d-dive in there like that, not if we want to b-be lovers. We take it slow, get to know each other, we don't just..."

"But you do. None of my past lovers hesitated like this; they were eager for my touch, they burned for it. Do you find me less desirable than they did?"

"Uh, no, my lady." Willow grimaces. She feels acutely uncomfortable, but she leans back, lying down on the wet grass, wriggling her shoulders to find a spot to lie easy. Spreads her arms akimbo, and slowly, reluctantly opens her legs. Keeping her knees locked, her toes pointed, focussing on her own physical actions, trying not to think about what was sure to come.

Failing miserably. 

As the goddess's unearthly face watches her dispassionately, Willow feels exposed and vulnerable. If this is Nehushtan's idea of experiencing human love, she has an awful lot to learn... There is no sharing here. She is spread out like a laboratory specimen, completely helpless before Nehushtan's power, and she--

_Oh_. The sudden flush of warmth, the rapid pounding of her heart takes Willow completely by surprise. Her nipples grow taut under the gentle touch of the soft rain. What...?

"We share secrets, child. This is the first lesson." And now Nehushtan is moving, flowing sinuously over the ground. Her tail coils around Willow, wrapping itself firmly around her legs, her arms. She feels herself lifted up as the goddess's body encircles her waist. The scales feel rough, but not unpleasant, and Nehushtan is not cold and clammy as Willow had feared; she is warm. Warm and soft and sensuous, and a slow steady pulsing of lust begins to ripple up through Willow's body. Her breathing quickens as she looks into Nehushtan's face, now close to her own. The goddess puts out a hand, cups the side of Willow's face, lifts her chin to look deep into her eyes. Judging, measuring? The blank white eyes offer no clues; and then Nehushtan moves aside with inhuman grace. Willow can look down at her spreadeagled body, held fast in the countless scaly, muscular coils, looping around her wrists and ankles and thighs and stomach. There seems no end to the goddess's immensity... and then suddenly there is.

The tip of Nehushtan's tail rears up scorpion-like between Willow's legs. She bites back a gasp, feels Nehushtan's coils flow around her, tightening their grip. The tail is huge. It sways back and forth like a cobra's head. Its scales glisten damply in the warm rain. Willow's eyes are wide and round; she can't look away. Fear and terror and anticipation and arousal knot her stomach and make her blood race. As the goddess's tail begins ever so slowly to dip down towards her exposed crotch, held open like a sacrificial offering, Willow can feel herself start to hyperventilate. She struggles desperately to control herself, knowing that her life hangs in the balance. If she angers Nehushtan now... 

It's closer still. Willow can't face it. She screws her eyes closed, clenches her fists so hard her fingernails bruise her palms. She desperately orders her body to relax, telling it that tensing up is exactly the wrong thing to do right now; but her body isn't listening. She can hear herself whimpering softly.

Then the tail-tip touches her, and a shock like electricity convulses her body. Her eyes fly open again as the nature of the touch registers. It's _gentle_, and for all the vast bulk of Nehushtan's body her tail moves with delicacy and dexterity. It circles around and down, caressing Willow intimately, and she feels herself relax into the touch--

Just as Nehushtan withdraws her tail again slightly, straightens it out, and _aims_ it. Vast muscular coils tense and bunch behind it, ready to drive it home...

"Eep."

When it comes it's slow at first, just the barest fraction of the serpent goddess's full length, and yet Willow feels herself stretching, right on the blurry line between pain and pleasure. She's gasping, panting for breath, fists knotted, full. Tries desperately to weave a pleasant fantasy in her head to distract her, but the filmy wisps are torn to shreds by the far too immediate present.

Then it stops, and Willow blinks her eyes to see the goddess regarding her curiously, head tilted to one side. Nehushtan says nothing; but suddenly the tail is withdrawn, leaving a surprising void at Willow's centre. And Nehushtan is wriggling sinuously around, with a dexterity no human could match, settling herself between the witch's legs and looking up at her over the top of her breasts and tummy with pale, pupilless eyes.

Then she bends forward, and Willow feels the first faint flickering pressure of her tongue, and sighs in pleasure that's more than half mixed with relief. She's already seriously aroused, and the goddess is quickly driving her higher and higher, her tongue moving with inhuman speed, and there's something about it that Willow can't quite place, but it feels different and exciting and oh so good and it's driving her mad that she can't explain it but it's getting hard to think straight now and just as the world shatters into shards of colour it hits her:

Oh! _Snake_! Forked tongue!

As things swim slowly back into focus, Willow takes a deep, shaky breath and mentally catalogues her body parts. Still all attached, and _definitely_ working properly. She feels a big goofy grin creeping across her face as she smiles her thanks at the green-skinned goddess.

Nehushtan doesn't return the smile.

She looks at Willow a long time in silence, as if searching for something in her expression. Then nods to herself, and speaks at last.

"You have experienced pleasure? You have experienced ecstasy at my hands?"

_Not just her hands,_ Willow thinks, but she just nods and said "Yes. Thank you."

"I do not wish for your thanks. Here there are only rules, and an exchange. For pleasure, a secret. I have given of myself unto you, and now you must share yourself with me. What do you have to tell me, mortal?"

"Huh? I - er - I thought the deal was you told me a secret, in, um, in return for, y'know, sex? You want to know _my_ secrets too?" Her voice rises to a squeak on the last syllables. And now Nehushtan does smile, her tongue flickering out around her lips.

"Of course. There is always wisdom to be gained from what people choose not to reveal. In the things we do not tell." The goddess leans forward, touches a cool hand to Willow's forehead.

"In the things we hide."


	2. Chapter 2

 

"What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Willow's head whips round in shock as the extremely angry and extremely _familiar_ voice intrudes into the scene. Goddess, no! _She_ can't be here. But she is, and the look on her face forcefully reminds Willow just how dangerous a pissed off Slayer can be.

"So this is the big secret? Or is this just your idea of fun?"

"Ken, no, it's not what it looks like..."

"Don't treat me like I'm an idiot. I can _smell_ the sex on you. And don't pretend you didn't enjoy it, either. You're all.. tousled, and flushed, and..." Her anger is threatening to turn into something else, as the suspicion of a tear glints at the edge of her eye, "And I trusted you, I _died_ for you, because I wanted to help you. And while I did, you've just been helping yourself. Who is she, Willow? Just some demon skank you decided to mess around with, or is this the big bad bitch in person?"

Willow cringes at that, but Nehushtan shows no flicker of anger. The goddess's opaque eyes watch the scene impassively; she makes no sound or gesture. How can Willow explain? How can she make Kennedy understand? The words bubble up inside her and twist her guts into knots, but they all seem so useless. _I only did it to learn stuff. I didn't want to hurt you. This is really important. I didn't even lie, I just... didn't tell you everything. It doesn't change how I feel about you. Can't we just forget about this?  
__  
...Forget about this....  
_  
It would be so _simple_. She feels the familiar thrill of seeing the solution, the easy way out that nobody but her ever seemed to notice, when it was always so obvious to her. Kennedy would never have to know. She was so powerful now, she wouldn't even need the Lethe's Bramble. She could do it, easily...

Couldn't she?

Her head spins, and she suddenly feels sick to her stomach. She isn't that girl anymore. She's learned her lesson, hasn't she? Hasn't she? The traitorous voice inside her head whispers otherwise. It would be so easy, and Kennedy would thank her for it really. Everyone would be happy, and Willow would never have to face her own guilt reflected in her girlfriend's eyes... She shudders, turns her face away in shame. No magic, not again. She'll have to think of some way to explain herself...

"It d-doesn't matter if you lie w-with magic or with words, Will. It's still lying."

_No.  
_Her entire body goes cold as ice, her head whirling. _Please, no._  
_Not her too. Not here. Not like this._

"I thought you'd know that now. After everything that h-happened. Why did you do it?"

There is such a weight of disappointment in her tone. Willow can't face it, can't face her. She's dreamed endlessly about this moment for two years, and now it's here she can't look up; thinking child-like that if she couldn't see, she couldn't be seen.

"Sweetie, how _could_ you?"

She chokes, flushed with shame, but stammers out a reply as best she can. "I only wanted to do good. To get power so I could help people. I didn't mean to-- "

"Please don't lie. You always--" But whatever she was about to say goes unheard as Kennedy suddenly thrusts herself into the conversation, her own anger with Willow cast aside as she leaps to loyal defence of her partner.

"You do _not_ get to accuse her of that. Back off!"

Willow does look up now. Kennedy stands in front of her, hands on hips, practically vibrating with righteous anger: and past her...

Tara smiles her shy, self-effacing smile, and ducks her head, shielding herself behind her hair from the Slayer's wrath. It's such an achingly familiar gesture, Willow's heart seems to clench up like a fist, and...  
_  
Wait.  
_  
This is all wrong. Tara doesn't do that, not anymore. (_Nor anything, not anymore_.) She wouldn't back down from a confrontation, not since she found her strength, and...

The entire world seems to flicker.

And Tara is standing there with her arms folded, serene defiance in her eyes as she stands up to Kennedy, giving as good as she gets. Willow glances round at Nehushtan in suspicion, but the goddess's eyes are as blank as ever. She merely observes, keeping her own counsel.

"... Anyway, s-seems to me you should be just as angry. It's you she's lying to. This time."

"That's between me and her, I don't need some stranger interfering between me and my Willow!"

"'Your' Willow? Huh. S-so you're who she moved on to? Aren't you kinda young for her?"

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

Tara doesn't reply to that, just quirks an eyebrow; and after a moment Kennedy gets it. She looks thunderstruck, taken aback for possibly the first time in her life. Then shoots a look back towards Willow, filled with fear and defiance and resignation. Her shoulders slump, and all the life seems to drain out of her.

"I'll just go."  
_  
No!_  
"No." 

Her own plea goes unspoken, but Tara's word pulls them both up short in shock. She shakes her head firmly. "That's not the way it works. It's up to W-Willow."

"But I--" She breaks off in shock, whipping round to face Nehushtan again. "You want me to choose? Is that it? Is that the secret you want from me? You want me to _choose_ between them?

The goddess remains inscrutable, but something wakes inside Willow. Something deep and slow-moving and primal. She doesn't get angry, as a rule. She gets grouchy, or snappish, or cranky. She lets things fester then gets mad at herself instead. Not like this. She feels it stretching and growing inside herself, filling her with its power. It's not the other anger either, not the wild vengeful world-destroying rage. There's no taint of blackness here. It's more like a fire. 

"Tell me! Do you expect me to choose?"

"I can bring one of them back for you, if you wish."

The fire becomes an inferno.

"You're playing with me. Tara's death was irreversible. Nobody has the power to bring her back."

The snake demon grows huge in Willow's eyes as she looms up in front of her, cruel fangs bared as she hisses angrily. "I am Mistress of Life and Death! Your foolish little witchcraft and petty dealings with godlings are as nothing before my power! Speak, and one of them will return to life and the other be cast back into nothingness. Choose now! Or do you wish to hear them begging for their lives first?"

Willow laughs in the goddess's face. "You really have no idea, do you? Beg for their lives? Watch and learn." She turns towards Tara and Kennedy, who are now standing side by side watching the exchange.

"Ken, do you want me to choose you?"

The dark-haired girl swallows, bites her lip, but then looks up bravely and shakes her head. "No. I - I know how much Tara meant to you, how much she will always mean to you. If you have a chance to get her back, I'm not going to stand in your way. I just want you to be happy."

Willow smiles at her gratefully, then turns to Tara. "Sweetie?"

"You already k-know what I'm going to say."

"I think I do. But saying it's not for my benefit."

"Life goes on, Will. We live, we die and our spirits go back into the circle of life. I know I'll always be a part of your heart, but I'm glad you've found happiness with somebody new. It would be selfish and wrong of me to want you back all for myself. A-and it's wrong for you too. You can't always look backwards. You have to grow. Learn to trust yourself."

"Trust _myself?_ I thought...?"

Tara smiles gently. "Sure. You hide things because you're scared you won't be able to handle it when they come out. I know you; you panic. But I also know you're strong. You just have to believe it yourself. And you'll have help. I'm sure, um... I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

Kennedy tells her.

"Nice name. Not what I would have expected... Anyway, I'm sure Kennedy will be only too happy to, um, kick your ass if you ever get too self-doubting. She looks like she's good at that. The kicking. Really trim legs."

Willow blinks in surprise. "Tara, are you coming on to my girlfriend? Um, other girlfriend?" 

Tara giggles, and Kennedy gives a cocky grin. "Your other girlfriend clearly has excellent taste. Which is obvious since she likes you!" She turns to Tara, a mischievous look on her face. "Hey, since we've got this opportunity, maybe we can compare notes. When she was with you, did she still leave her wet face flannels in the sink...?"

Willow groans theatrically. "This is like my worst nightmare!" But she's smiling fondly as she says it, and as she turns back to Nehushtan the grin is still playing around her lips.

But her eyes are fire and ice.

"You see? That's what being in love means. Proper human love, not the demon-y kind. Each of them wants me to choose the other."

"But the choice is _yours_, not theirs.   
"Which do you choose?"


	3. Chapter 3

 

"Both of them."

Nehushtan hisses angrily. "Do not toy with me, mortal. Choose one, or neither!"

"_Me_ toying with _you?_ Pot, this is kettle. You're black."  It crosses her mind briefly that she should be afraid, that the goddess could erase her from existence with a sweep of her tail, but she's too angry to care anymore. "You're dissecting my feelings, forcing me to make a choice nobody should ever have to make. For what? For fun? Is this a game to you?"

"Then you refuse to choose?"

"I already said. I choose both. You're so powerful, bringing one of them back should be no different to bringing them both back. You're just torturing me."

"For the third and last time. Which do you choose?"

Willow glances back over her shoulder. Tara and Kennedy are now standing arm-in-arm, watching her calmly. They both smile at her, and suddenly Willow knows the answer.

"Neither. I have no right."

"Why would this stop you? It did not before."

Willow's reply is low and cold. "_I know that_. I was wrong then. And knowing what I know now, I... Well actually,  I'd still do it anyway, 'cause without Buffy, The First would have won. But that still doesn't make what I did right. Just _necessary_."

"And bringing your lover back from the grave is not necessary?"

"No... no it's not. I want to, but... like Tara said, life goes on. We can't preserve things the same for eternity. A forever love is... unnatural. A vampire thing, not for regular people."

"Interesting. Very well." Nehushtan waves her hand, and Willow whips her head around... too late. There's nothing there, not even footprints in the damp grass. She feels hollow and empty inside, but it only fuels her simmering anger further.

"Not even a chance to say goodbye? You're inhuman."

The goddess turns blank white eyes in her direction, and Willow gives her head a sudden shake to clear it.

"Obviously so. Were they even really here? Or did you just conjure them out of my memories?"

"If you wish to learn one of the secrets of my magic, mortal, then you must pay the price. You know this."

"Right. That's why I'm here. Prostituting myself for power and knowledge... um, literally. Wow, I didn't think... that's kinda gross."

"Sudden squeamishness? Do you wish to back out of our bargain?"

"Like hell. After what you did to me? Now it's my turn. Same deal, right? I give you an orgasm, you tell me a secret?"

"That is the way of things." Nehushtan unwinds herself from Willow's body, coils her tail under her, waits.

But Willow ignores her, standing and stretching, holding her face up to the rain to let it bathe her in its gentle warmth, rubbing life back into stiff limbs. Crosses her arms over her chest as she turns to face the goddess again, cupping her own breasts in her hands and tweaking her nipples before sliding her arms down her torso slowly to her thighs. 

The goddess watches impatiently. "Pleasure me, mortal."

"Fuck you." The expletive even shocks her a little, but Willow's past caring now. She moves her right hand up between her thighs, while the other returns to her breast.

"You defy me? How do you dare? Your actions are senseless."

Willow's hand moves in lazy sensuous circles.

"Speak to me! Why do you not do as I wish?"

Now Willow does look at her, warm hazel eyes glaring straight into chilly shining white.

"What do you want from me?"

"To fulfil your side of our bargain. That is the law of this place!"

"Screw your laws. Tell me what _you_ want from me."

Nehushtan now seems more baffled than angry. This situation is clearly outside her experience.  
"I want... things to go the way they always go. The sharing, and the revealing of secrets."

"Wrong answer. What. Do you want. From me?"

"To... to know pleasure and ecstasy with you. I want... I want you."

Now Willow smiles. "What's the magic word?" 

And she's already kicking herself, because that's an English idiom that Nehushtan is bound to misinterpret, but to her shock the goddess says "Please?" 

And then Willow has her arms around the goddess, one hand tangled in her glittering hair as she forces her head down into a long, hard kiss. Breaking finally for air, she works her way hungrily down Nehushtan's slender neck towards her - _actually rather magnificent_ \- bosom, circling one nipple with her thumb without ever touching it until the goddess begs her for mercy, then nipping down with her teeth hard enough to draw a hiss. Her other hand is stroking her back, and Willow runs her fingers down her spine, then moves to bring her thigh up between Nehushtan's legs... Ah. _Oh, yeah_.

A moment of panic sets in, almost throwing her completely off her stride. _She's a big snake_. Where do snakes keep their genitals? Do snakes even have genitals? Maybe I should ask her... yeah, real smooth. _Sorry, sweetie, but I seem to have mislaid your vagina. Could you point me in the right direction?_

Well, only one thing to do. Willow strokes Nehushtan's stomach, circles her bellybutton...

_(Hang on. What's a snake doing with a navel?  
Um, probably the same thing she's doing having breasts. Carry on.)_

...then moves her hand down towards where on a human would be the right spot. But she finds nothing but smooth scales, and just as her panic is about to become full-blown one of them seems to give, or shift slightly under her fingers, and suddenly she's feeling that familiar, soft exciting squidginess, just like a real woman.

She slides down now, wanting to reassure herself with her eyes that it's there; and it's perfect, so perfect Willow wonders if this is something else Nehushtan pulled out of Willow's mind - or in this case, directly out of her libido. Well, except that her libido normally expects pink or red, not _green_, but apart from that... Her fingers are working up and down and in and out, and she can hear the goddess's breathing coming fast and heavy, so she leans in and curls her tongue up for a taste, and Nehushtan hisses again, loud in her ears, and a quiver runs through her.

But Willow's not ready to give her what she wants yet, so she makes her way slowly back up the goddess's body as she whimpers faintly, pushing herself against Willow's hand and gasping as the witch takes her nipple in her mouth again. By the time Willow goes down once more Nehushtan is hot and wet and her tail is lashing from side to side, and it's all quite awkward because the shape of her body means that Willow's nose is squashed up against her scales, but she manages somehow, and her tongue flicks up and around until Nehushtan hurls back her head and howls in unearthly ecstasy and collapses into a boneless heap on the damp grass.

Willow wipes her mouth and, after a moment's hesitation, wriggles up and wraps herself cosily around Nehushtan. She's not sure the goddess has ever been snuggled before, but judging from the blissful smile on her face, she's not hating it. She gently pushes a strand of silvery hair off her cheek and quirks an eyebrow.

"You enjoyed that, then?"

Nehushtan's reply is kind of non-verbal, but she nods and manages a faint "Mmm".

"So the deal was, I give you an orgasm, you tell me a secret, right?"

Nehushtan smiles happily, manages to get some words out. "You've...ah...certainly earned it. What do you want to know?"

Willow considers a moment... then something clicks inside her. She can feel a triumphant grin coming on, but fights it back, keeps her expression serious. "One question first. And if the answer's a secret, don't tell me, okay? Just say 'It's a secret'. Don't want to waste my prize. Agreed?"

Nehushtan smiles fondly, still clearly deep in afterglow. "Agreed."

"If I give you more than one orgasm, do I get to ask for more than one secret?"

Nehushtan starts to look angry at that, but Willow's doing something interesting to the back of her neck and she stretches and practically purrs. "Do you have the stamina, little mortal? Most of my previous lovers have been incapable of such feats."

Willow stifles a giggle. "But your previous lovers were men, weren't they? Uh, never mind. But if I can, is it a deal?"

"Very well. Your hunger for knowledge is clearly great, little one. So tell me. What is the first secret you wish to learn from me? How to heal the plague? How to strike men dead with one glance from your eye? Tell me."

"Um, I'm more about the healing than the killing these days. But my first request is none of those things."

Now the grin is unstoppable.

"My first request, Lady Nehushtan, is for you to tell me all your sexual secrets; all the things that bring you physical pleasure. All your fantasies, all your desires, all your needs... how best to please you. In other words, how to give you lots of orgasms."

Nehushtan stares at her in shock for a long moment...   
long enough for Willow to worry she's overstepped the mark.

And then the goddess's delighted silver laughter echoes through the entire dimension.


End file.
